The Gratitude Exercise Everyone Should be Doing

You will instantly experience positive feelings if you were to list 20 things that you’re grateful for right now.

Seeing the glass as half full not only gives us more positive emotions, but also helps us to deal with adversity, make better choices, build stronger relationships, live healthier and even improve productivity. While co-relation doesn’t mean causation, research in positive psychology has found these strong associations, which give us good reason to practice gratitude.

This is a gratitude exercise that everyone should be doing on a daily basis:

  1. Set a timer for 10 minutes (or however much time you have)
  2. Indiscriminately list as many things that you’re grateful for as you can

The key here is to avoid discriminating what comes up. Don’t label things as ‘superficial’, too minute or unworthy of your gratitude list. Being grateful for your appearance or the frivolous things that you buy for yourself is not superficial. Your silky hair, the ice cream in your fridge, your family and your health are all things that are worthy to be grateful for, even though some of them might play a more significant role in your life than others. Indiscriminately listing out what we’re grateful for also reminds us of things that we might have taken for granted.

The key here is to keep the momentum going and look for something, regardless of significance, to be grateful for. In this case, the more the merrier 🙂

“If there’s only one thing that you can do today, let it be acknowledging something that you are grateful for.”

3 Lessons from my 10-Day Silent Meditation, Vipassana

Excruciatingly painful, but so rewarding. If the idea of a 10-day silent meditation intrigues you, here’s what you need to know.

I was meditating about 8 hours everyday, and observing 10 days of noble silence, which basically means zero verbal, physical and written communication with anyone. Any external stimulants from phones, music, books, writing materials, religious objects and intoxicants such as cigarettes and alcohol are strictly prohibited during the ten days to minimise distractions. Students are also not allowed to exercise outside of their rooms to prevent distracting other students. You can read more about the teaching and full code of conduct on the official website.

Seriously, I was so intimidated I cancelled my first booking and flew to Myanmar for a vacation instead.

I didn’t feel ready so I backed out. I’m kinda glad I did because when I finally went later in the year, I was as well prepared as I could realistically be – mentally, emotionally and physically. Listen to my friend’s story in his Mostly Yoga podcast, where he shares how he ran away from his Vipassana course (that’s also me in the podcast talking about teaching yoga).

What is Vipassana Meditation?

Vipassana meditation is an ancient nonreligious technique that has been taught and practised for over 2,500 years, with the goal of achieving the highest level of happiness and liberation though self-observation. A big part of the teaching revolves around the ideas of impermanence and equanimityconcepts which I hold very dear today.

“Vipassana” means “to see things as they really are”, without our tinted lenses accumulated from our own past experiences.

It is a requirement for all new students to complete a 10-day Vipassana meditation course – no more, no less.

Locations

There are plenty of locations all over the world but after much research and recommendations from friends, I decided to head to Kuantan, Malaysia. I chose this location because:

  1. It was close to home, and
  2. It has private rooms

There’s a 1-hour direct flight from Singapore. From the Kuantan airport, it’s also extremely easy and inexpensive to book a 20-minute taxi ride to the Vipassana center. All I had to do was to step out of the airport, say “Vipassana” to a lady mending the the taxi booth, got a receipt and got into a car.

The Experience

During the ten days I said to myself – never again. But when I went back to my regular day-to-day, some changes really stuck with me. I found myself back on Vipassana’s website, looking for suitable dates for this year’s retreat.

What was put into perspective for me in those 10 days went beyond what I have learnt over the last 20-30 years of my existence. OK I might be a slow learner but better late than never.

Over the ten days, similar themes kept surfacing:

1. Nature takes care of itself, with neither worries nor expectations

2. Living, dying & unconditional love

3. Pain is a function of the body and mind

They have left deep imprints in my mind and have helped tremendously in the events that have unfolded since I came back in December 2019.

Nature takes care of itself, with neither worries nor expectations

I spent the most intimate and magical moments with nature. I love the city and have never quite understood nature or spent heaps of time in close contact with it.

On the morning of day 6, I had a sudden urge to remove my flip flops and feel the ground against my bare feet. I walked on the pavement, then on the soil. The grass was warm, soft, fresh and clean. I looked down and saw two beautiful butterflies near my feet.

On the same day, I went on walks between sessions, paying close attention to whatever that was happening around me. I saw a bee going about its business – I could see its black and yellow stripes so clearly, from an intimate proximity where we co-existed without fear or hurry. I stood very close to colonies of huge red ants, and none of them ever bit me. The next morning, I went back to the same spot and saw big and small water crystals formed on thin spiderwebs. The crystals looked like magic but they’re actually just another beautiful creation of nature.

We had two monitor lizards living in our midst. Their movements were of no hurry. I watched them dig into the ground, catch fish from the pond, and just mind their own business. I took the pleasure of taking time to observe nature and remember that nature takes care of itself, with no worries and no expectations.

“Look at the birds in the sky. They don’t plant or harvest or gather food into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.”

Matthew 6:26

I started to experience the beauty of nature and understand the desire to be close to it. To be in the midst of the dirt and butterflies and to co-exist peacefully. I tried to recall the last time I touched a mimosa… Oh, at Sunday brunch one morning LOL.

Living, Dying & Unconditional Love

It was the day that my pain threshold was at its lowest, my determination dwindling. At the apex of the pain in my leg and shoulder, I appreciated the concept of finding relief only through death, when there’s absolutely no other way to relief intolerable pain. I started to somewhat understand a patient’s decision to not seek treatment, and the championing of euthanasia.

On the same day, the story in my mind was ‘what is my pain’ in the grand scheme of things. I had flashes in my mind of an old lady in a hospital bed all curled up, with tubes all over her. I had flashes in my mind of war scenes filled with murder and torture, and being forced to watch the torture of a loved one. I had flashes in my mind, of the people who came before us, who built up the world that we call home today, a success we often take for granted.

In those moments, I experienced the insignificance of my own suffering.

It was humbling.

I’ve said many times that a big fear in my life is to learn unconditional love, something that I’ve never believed in, and I was worried that I was getting closer and closer to believing and actually feeling it.

Pain = f (Body x Mind)… & Levitation

Each day, from day 6, we practised three separate hours of “Sittings of Strong Determination”. These are sessions where you set a strong resolve not to move an inch, and not to open your eyes, regardless of how much discomfort you’re in.

I sat through all of them faithfully like a good student and by day 9 I was sitting through and tearing half the time, unsure if I was in pain or simply tearing from boredom and my desire to go home. I quietly renamed these sessions “Sittings of Sheer Determination” – because that was literally how I got through each one of them!

The physical pain that I experienced during these sessions were pain that I’ve never experienced or expected. The back pain that I’ve anticipated did not show up. Instead, I had excruciating pain in my left shoulder and both my legs.

There was, however, one particular afternoon session where the pain dissolved into a sensation of tiny little movements in my body, underneath my skin. My mind was so quiet and eventually I stopped feeling the ground – that is the feeling of “levitation”.

It is also worthy to note at this point, that pain is a function of the body and mind.

The mind has the power of amplifying and dramatising the pain.

As the mind stills and quietens, the physical pain become less apparent and less dramatic.

During the 10 days I worked with these uncomfortable sensations with the knowledge that all these will eventually end anyway, and I looked forward to being back with the people I love. Eventually everything ends. Relationships end – in death or otherwise. Pleasant and unpleasant times end. Impermanence is a natural state, and I hope that this concept can serve you as well as it has served me – in being okay with discomfort, in cherishing beautiful moment, and being fully present with people you love.

Till we meet again 🌻

Be Here Now: Using 5 Senses to be Fully Present

Did you know?!

  • The human skin has about 35,000,000,000 cells. That’s 35 billion, if your brain just shut off after the third zero.
  • We breathe an average of 8 million breaths a year. Maybe fewer if you practice this breath meditation.
  • The human ear can hear frequencies as low as 20 Hz and as high as 20,000 Hz.
  • The human eye can see millions of colours.
  • The average human tongue is 3 inches long…

👅😏😬

At 3.97 inches, Nick Stoeberl holds the Guinness World Records of World’s Longest Tongue – beat that!

Our five senses are powerful tools that help us experience life and absorb everything that’s happening around us.

Here’s a quick, tangible and systematic 5 senses exercise to remind us to Be Here Now.

Do this in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, on walks, at work, while brushing your teeth, while cooking, while eating… Do it alone, with your partner, with friends, with your kids… It’s a great activity that can be done anytime, whether you’re flying solo or spending time with loved ones!

So let’s get into it. Take your time and do it with me as you’re reading this –

1. Name 5 objects that you can see

They can be anything! But I encourage you to look in places that you seldom explore. For example, the sky, the ceiling, the corners of the room, underneath your mug and maybe even underneath your feet!

2. Feel 4 things that you can touch

They could be the wind against your skin, the clothes you are wearing, hair against your face and your feet against the ground.

3. Identify 3 sounds that you can hear

Don’t qualify them as pleasant or unpleasant, simply observe. The sounds of the vehicles on the road, the sound of your breath, the sound of someone’s voice.

4. Identify 2 scents that you can smell

Again, don’t qualify the smell. Sometimes it’s not the most pleasant but the point of mindfulness is simply to observe, not to reflect or analyse. This might be the smell of your coffee, your neighbour’s cooking or even the smell of trees 😍

Kudos to you if you’re practising this in the toilet like what I did before!

5. Identify 1 taste in your mouth

Hot coffee, your food, water or even just the general taste in your mouth works just as well.

It’s that easy! I hope you’re feeling fully present now. It’s SO important to Be Here Now and pay attention to what you’re doing, the conversation you’re having, how you are feeling and what you are thinking.

It has been great hanging with you here, let me know how being fully present has influenced you. Till we meet again, cheers 🍷

 

 

 

Pausing Between Breaths Calm the Mind

Our breathing consists of four parts – inhale, pause, exhale, pause. There is a space between the inhale and exhale and being fully aware of that space is a convenient way of experiencing the spaces in between our thoughts.

The average person thinks about 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day – that’s up to 48.6 thoughts per minute!

The fewer thoughts we have, the more space there is between those thoughts and the more we can experience each moment “as is”, without distractions. The best way to slowly but surely experience those spaces, is to simply sit and watch the spaces between the breathing.

No judgement, no expectations, no need to even try to lengthen the breath or even sit up tall, only to simply take a moment to watch that space.

5 Ways to Make the Most of Your In-Studio Yoga Practice

“In-Studio” because I will be sharing another bunch of tips for home practice.

Practicing with a room full of bodies moving in sync and having someone telling you what exactly to do and when exactly to breathe is a beautiful way to reenergise your body and mind. It offers company yet space, guidance yet freedom. Here are five ways that can help you make the most of your practice:

1. Arrive early and don’t skimp on the breathing and grounding at the start of your practice.

It gives you time to clear your mind and catch your breath so that you can easily.

2. Check in with your energy level and work with that

Take time to feel how your body feels – which areas feel tight, which areas feel like they would like some work and how you are breathing.

3. Take only cues that serve you

Give the cues that your teacher offer a shot. If they feel right, take them. If you feel pain (especially sharp pains), don’t take the cue.

While cues are great, not all bodies are made the same so do take cues with caution especially in a large class. If you are unsure about certain cues, ask your teacher after class – most yoga teachers will be happy to share more.

4. Remember that it is not about the postures

The purpose of coming to your mat is to feel great in your body and mind, not to force your body into a certain shape that it is not ready for. Here’s what happens when you stop chasing postures.

5. Always acknowledge your achievements

Taking time out to step onto your mat, commuting to the studio and having the resources to allow you to do that are great accomplishments in themselves. Taking the entire class asana by asana should not be undermined as well. Thank your legs for carrying you, your arms for enabling you to embrace your loved ones, and your mobility that enables you to enjoy movement.

Extra bonus if it was a hot class – here’s a list of what you MUST after hot yoga!

The Truth About Teaching Yoga

It is a job where you get the attention, the control, the freedom, students looking up to you, friends envying your flexible hours and people coming to you telling you yoga teachers are sexy and you are one of those – instant ego boost!

But is it?

Despite the often glamourised life, teaching yoga has its fair share of the daily grind. It can be fun, inspiring, fulfilling but it always boils down to the commitment to show up 100%, be fully present and give you best.

Here’s the hard truth that you need to hear if you are an aspiring yoga teacher or you are thinking of signing up for your first yoga teacher training.

  1. Some days you just do not feel like going to class

You will feel like the most uninspiring person in the entire world. Guess what? You show up, and leave everything outside of the practice room.

2. Some days you are sick

If you are lucky, someone would cover your class. If you are not, you suck it up, show up and teach the best you can.

3. Some days you step into class and you KEEP fumbling upon your words

Speak slowly, and stay calm. This is when your meditation and mindfulness practice comes in handy. Do not panic, be compassionate.

4. Some days you are nursing an injury

Any body might encounter an injury at some point in time. When you are nursing one, forget demos. Use the power of verbal cues. Practice leading a class without demo-ing even when you have a perfectly capable body and tons of energy.

5. Some days you are nursing a broken heart

For whatever reason. It is your job and duty to shake off those emotions and distractions during your time in class and be fully present for your students.

6. Some days you have no idea what to teach

Don’t just walk in without a plan. Talk to people, read articles on sequencing, watch videos. Don’t wait for inspiration and ideas to find you – seek them out.

7. Some days you get disillusioned by the yoga world

“It’s not supposed to be like that!” Reality is reality, business is business. Don’t work for a studio whose beliefs and practices don’t align with yours. Don’t partner with people who do not share your beliefs. Dig and set your own values, then follow that path. But always re-examine your choices with the new knowledge and insights that you gain along the way.

I meant for this to be a skeptical sounding post, not one to encourage people to step into teaching without considering the hustling aspect of the job. Step in with your eyes open, ready to work hard. Teaching is heavy responsibility, where people entrust you with their bodies and listen carefully to every single word you say in class. People dedicate a portion of their days to what you are bringing to the mat, hoping to feel better at the end of their Shavasana. Practicing and teaching are totally different, practicing can be a hobby, but teaching should never be treated as one.

How to Consistently Stay Inspired

1. Read books

Select books that feed your soul at your current stage in life.

2. Pursue non-work related hobbies or challenges

Learn a new language, pick up a dance class, teach yourself how to knit, rock climb, go wakeboarding, challenge yourself to exercise everyday.

There’s so much that you will open your eyes to during the process.

3. Surround yourself with people who inspire you

Give and receive.

The Best Time to Meditate?

The best time to meditate is when you are rested, not when you are exhausted.

When you are tired, Yoga Nidra (Yogic Sleep) will be ideal – 30 minutes of Yoga Nidra is equivalent to 4 hours of sleep!

You will get the most benefits from meditation when you are fully focused and awake. If you sit down in quiet contemplation with a specific sankalpa (resolve/intention) you can clear your mind and settle your emotions, thus allowing you to see your thoughts and situation in a much clearer manner, without the disturbance of overwhelming emotions and distractions from the mind.

I’ve curated various meditation exercises under my Be Here Now Mindfulness Series. Pick one and stick with it for 30 days – you’ll find yourself being more present with the people you love, and you might just stop forgetting where you left your phone and keys!

Eight Limbs of Yoga

I find myself going back to The Eight Limbs each time I speak of how captivated I am by the practice of yoga. The beauty of yoga lies in its all-encompassing reach to life – penned in The Yoga Sutra of Patanjali, speaking of an eightfold path to a meaningful and purposeful life.

  1. Yama: the five moral restraints

The yamas can be thought of as the Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It is worth noting that the five yamas not only applies to how we treat others, but also to how we treat ourselves.

Ashimsa: nonviolence (kindness)

Satya: truthfulness

Asteya: nonstealing

Brahmacharya: sexual moderation

Aparigraha: noncovetousness

  1. Niyama

The niyamas are all about self-discipline – such as developing a consistent practice, being aware of how we live life on a daily basis and extending gratitude.

Saucha: cleanliness

Samtosa: contentment

Tapas: heat, austerity

Svadhyaya: self-study

Isvara pranihana: surrender

  1. Asana

This third limb is undoubtedly the most popular aspect of yoga – coming to your mat, doing poses. It is also worth noting that the yamas and niyamas were deliberately placed before asana, as the physical practice of asanas is not the end goal, but a means to develop discipline and concentration.

  1. Pranayama

Literally translated into ‘control of life force’, pranayama refers to breathing exercises. It offers us techniques to gain control over our respiratory system and connect the mind, body and emotions. Breathing deeply brings more oxygen and prana (life force) through the body, keeping the body young and mind balanced.

Unlike the first four limbs, the fifth to eighth limbs requires one to move in a step-by-step manner. The eighth limb cannot be achieved without first achieving the fifth to seventh.

  1. Pratyahara: Withdrawal of the senses

The practice of pratyahara teaches us to be in uncomfortable situations yet be unaffected by the external environment. We experience external events as pleasure or pain, like or dislike via our five senses. While these experiences drive us to achieve our dreams, create meaningful interactions, gain wisdom and experience life fully, it becomes problematic when we get overly attached to these stimulus that we become unable to pause, turn inwards and reconnect with ourselves. Pratyahara is about turning inwards by not seeking out or responding to external stimulus.

  1. Dharana: concentration

Dharana is the process of achieving concentration, where the mind works on focusing only on one activity or thought. An object is selected and attention is focused on it – it could be the breath, a candle flame, a picture or a mantra. At this stage, the mind is constantly wondering to other objects and we have to repeatedly bring the mind back to the chosen object to train and tame the distracted mind. Over time, the mind reaches a state where periods of concentration exceeds that of distraction.

  1. Dhyana: meditation

Dhyana is the state of single-pointedness of the mind, where there is a sustained concentration for longer periods of time. This is a more mature level of dharana and is similar to ‘flow’ in psychology or ‘being in the zone’.

  1. Samadhi: enlightenment

Samadhi is the state of enlightenment, where the mind and the object of concentration unites into one. The object being focused on disappears, boundaries between the object and mind disappears and oneness is experienced. Self-awareness is lost and the meditator becomes completely absorbed by the object of concentration.

In yoga practice, the breath is of utmost importance as it offers us a point of focus to still the mind and connect with our inner world. Asana practice is done to prepare the body and mind for pranayama and ultimately journey through the last four limbs. By controlling the body and breath, one is able to control and still the mind, achieving peace, clarity and calmness.